Forever Ends Today,
by MicrowaveWindows
Summary: Edward Left and Bella can't take it. She never tried to figure out what was going on with Jacob and instead of cliff diving she did something else... **RATED T FOR SUICIDE** R&R!


**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS THEY ARE ALL PROPERTY OF THE GENIUS STEPHENIE MEYER!!**

**GOOD BYE**

It was ripping me apart from the inside out. Crashing through my ribs, crushing my heart, thrashing it's way to the surface of my chest making it nearly impossible to breathe. _He _left 6 months ago and since my voices have been fading I'm left with the consequences of trying to hear him.

Slowly as the pain began to fade I was left with the numbness. I couldn't feel anything or hear anything because I was tuning it all out. I didn't want to hear how I needed a shrink, or how I've become lifeless. I already know! They just don't under stand... nobody does... Everybody has shied from me, even my own father. My mother has stopped calling and Jacob just... stopped talking to me. I know the truth though , they just don't want to be around for the day break down and lose it. Well, I've got news for them, I've already lost it! The most important thing to me left, the only thing keeping me alive _and _sane abandoned me 6 months ago.

I tried so hard in the beginning to make everyone happy, but eventually my body became numb, I became emotionless and it became to hard, pleasing people became pointless. And now that has gotten worse, I fight harder everyday to keep waking up, breathing, living. So now I'm giving up. Why can't I give up on everything, on life? It's all given up on me...

So now here I lay in eternal darkness, the black whole in which is consuming me has grown stronger and for once, I'm not going to fight it. No, I'm going into it.

Slowly I got up and walked out my bedroom door. Charlie was fishing with Billy. He tries to spend as little time as possible around me. So now I was alone, like always in the house. I dragged myself down the small hallway and opened the door to Charlie's room. I went to his closet and slid it open, rummaging through it until I found what I wanted, no _needed_.

A gun.

He's been hiding his gun belt in here since I've started becoming 'depressed'. But I wasn't stupid, I knew all along where he had been keeping it, but never before, until now, have I ever actually needed it.

I checked to see if there were any bullets, there were two. And that the safety lock was off _click _it was now. I went back in my room and closed the door, locking it. I set the gun down on my bed and went to the side table where I kept my notebook and pen. I ripped out a page of my notebook and started on my note.

_Dear reader,_

_If you're reading this, I'm dead. I am not sorry for what I have done, nor will I ever be. Please don't cry over me, I'm not worth your tears, I'm not worth anything anymore. When __he left_ _I thought I'd never heal, that the hole in my chest would never get better. Then I met someone, my own personal sun.. I knew that the hole in my chest would never fully heal but Ja- , made it a little more bearable. But of course just when I think I'm healing, slowly maybe, but still healing, he leaves me and I realize all he was doing was carving a hole of his own. And I just can't take it! There's only so much pain one heart and handle. This was my only escape, so I took it. I tried so hard to make you all happy, but it became to hard. Then you all left me when I needed you the most. So now I'm leaving you. Good-bye, forever._

_Love,_

_Isabella Swan_

I set the note back on the side table, and put my pen on top of it. I had been planning what to write in that for days. Yes I have been planning this for I couple days now.

I went back over to my bed and picked up my shiny friend. I knelt in front of my bed and set the gun into position. Right beside my heart. I decided there because I didn't want to die instantly, 'quick and painless'. No, I wanted to feel the pain. I wanted to die knowing I could feel something besides either numbness or the gaping hole in my chest that wasn't really there, though I was about to be in a few seconds.

I pulled back the nob, setting up the bullet. I wrapped my hand around the handle and my finger around the trigger.

Just as I was about the pull it I heard tires screeching just outside my window. I thought about going to see who was outside, but decided against it. I closed my eyes and tuned out the sound of car doors slamming and the beautful music like voices yelling outside. Is set the gun back into position .

I place my finger back in front of the trigger and pulled it.

Just as the gun went off, my door had broken though. I was now being held in something. Suddenly I was hit with the pain, but I didn't cringe away from it. No, I welcomed it. This was what I wanted, a slow and painful death.

As I lay here dying in something cold and hard I began to hear sobbing. I strained my eyes to see where the sound was coming from, when I first noticed someone was in the room with me. And that someone was the cold and hard thing holding me. I saw a blur of reddish-brown hair all over the place and the contrast between the pale skin and topaz eyes on the god-like creature holding me was easy to see even as my vision began fading. Was this an angel? Why is it crying? Angels shouldn't cry. Though maybe this wasn't an angel. I wracked my brain one more time for some kind of clarification of who this might be. When It came it me I gasped.

It was Edward.

He was shaking all over and mumbling unintelligible words. Why was he here? I reached out a weak hand to stroke his ice cold cheek.

"Bella? Bella! What have you done to yourself? Why bella, why? You promised me, you promised you'd so nothing stupid and reckless."

I mumbled something I hope sounded like 'sorry'.

I just layed there in his arms waiting for the darkness to take over. Why was it taking so long? I couldn't stand being alive any longer, being held by the one person I tried so hard to _not _think about, crying over me, though he shall never shed a single tear. He began talking again, but I had to try very hard hear.

"I love you Bella, I'm sorry. It's all my fault-" I stopped listening from there, I didn't want to hear anymore. My eyes had closed now, they've become to heavy to hold open. The pain was beginning to fade and I knew I was dying. My breathing became slower and more forced, and my body refused to move at all. As voices grew more distant and before my heart stopped my last words were,

"Goodbye Edward, I love you, and... I'm sorry."

"No Bella, please, just stay with me. Please Bella, I love you. Please..." he begged, his entire frame shaking.

Slowly he tilted his head down and pressed his cold marble lips to mine, for what we both knew would be the last time.

Everything in my body stopped at once. I let out my last breath as death finally took over and everything I had ever grown to know and love disappeared into the black mist.

**THE END**

* * *

**A/N mkay i know it could've been alot better, i'm sorry. Also I won't be able to post my next story until friday night, saturday morningish because i'm going to Quebec for a week. YAY! lol I hope you liked it anyways even though Bella dies.. R&R**


End file.
